Friday night

Oldest in shower -- home from game and dropping off "trash" for school flea market/fund-raiser tomorrow. Youngest watching TV and eating donuts. Hubby still in MS -- scheduled to be home October 13th. I am finished with my 2nd full week of school -- good friend preached in chapel this morning -- wonderful! He forgot to take his sermon notes into the pulpit with him (and it's a bit of a climb....) so asked the choir director to get them for him. So funny, so human, so genuine!

I asked a question/made a point in pastoral counseling class this week (The Minister As Counselor) and got kudos from nearly everyone, even prof. New level of respect -- but glad to know all I think I know is still there (I mean, M.A. in clinical psych -- I should know some of this stuff, yes?). And then in Greek exegesis this morning I knew what haplography was -- raised my hand and told the class -- friend next to me (the one who I tend to smother!) was duly impressed. It's not about impressing people, really, but it is about a little acknowledgement and a feeling that I fit in. Often, I feel "dull" (not necessarily dumb or stupid) next to these bright kids who are 20 years my junior. Sometimes it feels like my synapses are firing just as quickly as theirs are, as mine ever used to, but sometimes I don't feel as sharp or on the ball as I used to.... Welcome to middle age, right? (I'm 44; I don't want to die at 88!)

Really want to do good (quality & quantity) school work and thesis/book work this weekend. Also hope to see an ordination.... AND I have a student government "retreat" to attend (ugh!). Need to manage child care for youngest one and driving for the oldest one. And have 2 sympathy cards and 1 new house card to get into the mail.... No shortage of #*@! to do, story of my life!

Knuckle Cracking

http://elfstrom.com/arthritis/knuckle-cracking.html

Draw your own conclusions.

random thoughts

1. I've been blogging for a year now, and this is my 60th post. So I am averaging slightly more than 1 post per week. That's probably about as much time as I wanted to give this -- it's an authentic record of my seminary experience (and life in general) and I forget what I write between posts, so I start fresh every time (a good way to see what's important to me).
2. Many 20-something students crack their knuckles in class. It drives me crazy -- the noise is distracting from the lecture, but also, I remember hearing when I was young that daily cracking of the joints like that will cause arthritis. Not sure if that's true -- guess I could research it -- but I shudder to think of all these people with painful fingers in a few years!
3. Interesting chapel experiences this week: A.) On Friday, crowded service cuz of communion (that's always the case, interesting), one young man was sitting at the edge of a pew with his legs crossed so that no one else could get in the pew with him. I guess he might have moved if one asked, but I assumed he was saving seats for friends. At the end of the service, I noticed everyone else packed in like sardines, while this man had a pew almost to himself (there were some who came in at the other end). He often sat sideways and stretched his legs out along the length of the pew. (I know this cuz I sat in the pew in front of him.) Am I getting too curmudgeonly? How tolerant must we be in church?
B.) On Thursday, I sat in chapel next to a young man who was sniffling throughout the service and wiping his nose with his hand. For a brief moment at the passing of the peace, I considered not shaking his hand (extending the peace to him/sharing the peace with him) but I couldn't bring myself not to -- I guess couldn't deny him that without a lengthy and judgmental explanation. So I shook his hand and smiled at him (I didn't feel dislike for him at all -- I don't even know him) and then I made a mental note to go wash my hands, which I did. It reminds me of the US Presbyterians in Kenya who "Purelled" their hands after shaking the hands of hundreds of Kenyans in a crowd, usually children, and right in the sight of those whose hands they'd just shaken. While I might have "Purelled" afterwards, too, I didn't want the people to think I found them unclean, so I didn't do it until after we had left. What are a few minutes' delay? It also reminds me of the Presbyterian Church I know where a petition was signed to do away with the passing of the peace -- most of the people who generated that petition (and request to the Session) were afraid of spreading germs in church....
Interesting. That's all I have for today!

overwhelmed (redux)

This is me trying to recreate a blog entry that I typed last night about 7-ish, then when I went to post it, blogger.com had the message that the system was down for scheduled maintenance from 4 (Pacific Standard Time) to 4:15, so I lost several paragraphs. (Who was notified of this schedule?) Those kind of things have me wondering about my place in the world -- who is out to get me, and so forth. Ah, well. Putting my paranoia and all-about-me-ness aside, here's hoping that today's iteration is at least as telling (and maybe better edited) than last night's....

OK, so overwhelmed one week (on Weds.) into classes! Caused me to muse about whatever comedian noted that we never speak about being merely "whelmed." Coping is difficult now with my 16 credits, my single-parenting (husband still in the gulf on Hurricane Katrina-soon-to-be-Rita duty), and my extra curricular activites -- the want-to-do's in addition to the have-to-do's.

I am moderator for Seminarians Affirming Reproductive Choice, so attended a student government meeting (my first!) yesterday. Need to provide membership lists and budget requests (today), and just get myself organized in general (ongoing). I also swam 60 laps yesterday in the seminary pool, in 60 mins. -- good for me but also kind of my standard pace, so then I can stop counting and just watch the clock -- hope to do that twice weekly for a little fitness. I can feel it in my arm muscles today. Missed seeing Elie Wiesel last night at the University -- my oldest needed rides from after-school sporting event to evening meeting -- youngest had a play date -- can't do everything. Also missed bell choir organizational meeting. Did get my New Testament "Appetizer" (one-page exegesis) to my prof this morning; also worked on my thesis proposal for my advisor -- but he postponed this morning's meeting. Should I take it as a slap in the face or be grateful for the extra time? The conundrums I live with daily!

My mother may have been right that I am not nice enough to be a pastor (I have always thought so, too, hence my 20-year delay in going to seminary!). I recently heard of a former classmate's ordination this past weekend. Not sure if I was wishing this former seminarian evil when I heard, because this person always seemed like a cold and less-than-deserving fish to me, or if I was just jealous. Maybe the church and this person will be a good fit, and will bolster the other and help the other grow. Here's hoping (that's me being charitable). On another note, a good friend will be ordained next week, and I am excited to attend. This person I find to be truly called, and I hope the calling church is more truly inspired than desperate (they have been without a pastor for 5 years!) -- they are in for a very pleasant surprise!

Lost my train of thought. Long enough anyway and off to class in 10 mins. Thanks for reading along thus far. Good enough will have to be good enough for now.

New Semester

First day of classes was yesterday, but I was too exhausted to write. Hubby got assigned to do Hurricane Katrina duty down in Mississippi, so he was up at 4 a.m. to catch a train to the airport -- he took his camping gear cuz only God knows where he will be staying and what conditions will be like. He is excited. I am glad in a way that he's gone; then I don't expect help around the house from him when I don't see him. I'm glad for him to have this opportunity; the difficulty comes with me making arrangements for kids to catch a bus at 8:35 a.m. when I have an 8 a.m. class 4 days out of 5! Neighbors and friends are helping, and I should just be grateful, but I hate to think I owe anyone anything because of a kindness they've shown to me....

Met with a new advisor who will mentor me through a Th.M. (additional degree) next year (2006-2007). He is having me work A LOT right from the get-go -- I feel really pushed and stretched -- it feels like another course already this year, when I just wanted to line up something for next year -- but I'm excited about it too. He wants me to write a book -- never really on my list of things to do, at least, not from a theological/spiritual vantage point (pulp fiction, maybe!). This will be very interesting, and bad manager of time that I am, I will probably do more on this (which is not required ever, and certainly doesn't need to be finished this year) than on my current course work.

Must dash to a 1:30 class -- but speaking of my course work -- I like everything so far! Think this has the potential to be my best semester yet! Minister as Counselor, Social Ethics, New Testament Exegesis, Preaching Mark, Theological Interpretation (Empire Capital) -- and a Greek and Hebrew reading course. All good!

shifting moods

Felt good about today -- bought kids a new rug and new bookshelf for their room -- installed rug with help of youngest. Felt less good when oldest challenged me on assembly of the bookshelf. A little surprised when former field ed supervisor asked me (again, 2nd year) to plan her child's birthday party. Why didn't I say no? When I figure that out, I will blog it! Hubby said he thought it would be new intern's turn to be the gopher and gal Friday.... Oh, well.

Excited about school -- mine and kids' -- think my schedule is a good one and feel like I can handle this fall (we'll see) -- but I always prefer fall to spring anyway, at least as far as academics and scheduling go. Waiting for ord grades -- long wait until Nov. Went to elementary school tonight for "ice cream social" -- to see the new classroom and meet the new teacher. Nice tradition -- school does it every year and kids can get wound up and exorcise their summer laziness and orneriness before they get into the real swing of things. Like the youngest's new teacher. Young woman, very excited to be a teacher. That's nice to see. Now need to shift into fall schedule/routine. No more staying up until 2 and 3 a.m. and sleeping late (only did that for about a week, but that's all it takes to ruin me!). Signing off for now....