Valleys

Living in a valley right now -- out of energy, a little bit concerned for my health, worn out at the end of finals. Now have to spend the break between semesters catching up on non-school-related tasks -- preparing a sermon to preach at Presbytery, preparing to lead a PW retreat, planning a Roe v. Wade worship service (should be held this week but as the campus is basically closed...we're doing it next week when classes resume -- the good news is that I have about 8 students assisting me with worship -- hope we have a good turnout -- often it turns out that we prepare worship for one another....), sewing/hemming, etc. Need to get the car worked on and get the kids and me to the dentist (to get us worked on). Need to prepare some stuff for Kenya for the folks who are going next month.

Have had some difficulty with friends as of late. One got a call to a church -- and I would have liked to have been happy for her, had she told me about it. She skipped my Christmas party (after RSVP'ing that she would come) and never called, and I never heard from her again. I know it's not all about me, but I do wonder if it's something I did. I can't imagine what....

Another friend has been complaining and worrying about her Presbytery for the years I've known her. I suggested she might switch. She seemed amenable to the idea. Then after I made inquiries and my Presbytery was looking forward to meeting her, she said I did too much too fast. No good deed goes unpunished. Why do I feel I have to fix everyone else's life? Why are their problems mine? It almost makes me not want to care. But if I care, how can I learn not to take action?

Another friend has a grown child (age 23) who had a minor drug issue this week. I am sensitive to the problem, I really am, and my heart aches for what this family is going through. My mistake today was sending a silly email attachment (youtube video) showing spiders exposed to drugs. The video got silly and my friend's child is not an addict or in trouble with the law, but my friend is mad at me for my insensitivity. I didn't think the spiders were anything like this kid that I've known for several years, so I didn't make the connection. But apparently I have a different perspective. Things like this make me question my call (and I'm having so much fun looking for one right now, too! Between finding a job, getting my oldest off to college, selling my house and contemplating divorce with my husband, it'll be a really challenging year!).

Oh, and the icing on the cake: my parents are visiting this week; they invited themselves as usual, but also as usual, they are using my house as a hotel so they can save some money on the drive to FL. It's not really that they want to see me -- maybe (hopefully) that is a fringe benefit. Oldest is going away on a class trip so won't see them -- they are not rushing down here a day early -- no modification of plans allowed.

It's late and I'm cranky. Tomorrow is another day.