field trip

Today I chaperoned a trip for my youngest's 3rd grade class. It was a riot "supervising" the kids, and constantly counting them, making sure no one got left behind! We toured a zinc mine, so there were plenty of dark, wet places to be lost in. I ate lunch with a little boy who moved here in April from France, and I tried out my French a little bit. He sat alone at a picnic table, probably more because of his severe peanut allergy than his inability to communicate with his classmates -- his English is astonishingly good. He is 8 and he knows he will be moving back to France when he is 11....

Another good deed I did was to remove a lazy wasp from the table of a group of girls. I wrapped the wasp up in my sandwich baggie and then enclosed her in my brown paper bag -- people asked me why I didn't kill it, and I told them I didn't want her sending out a distress pheromone and getting more wasps involved in the action! I was a hero, but a kind and benevolent one at that. (sort of -- I think the wasp was dying anyway....)

The kids enjoyed riding in the coach bus -- everyone had to use the bathroom on board just to check it out. They also enjoyed watching movies -- the original "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" (with Gene Wilder) on the way there, and "Wallace and Gromit and the Curse of the Were-Rabbit" on the way back. Television -- truly a panacea for traveling with kids (or at the grocery store check-out line, or at the Dunkin' Donuts, or at Disney World -- anywhere we need people to "behave"!).

School is underway and the 3 of us seem to be in a groove again. I like the structure. Now I need to look for a job and contemplate moving in the next 9 months or so.... Oh! Oldest had an asthmatic bronchitis attack and spent 7 hours at the local ER this past week -- so we manage to stay on our toes around here at all times.... My classes put me on campus after chapel (and only 2 days a week, at that) so I will have to be intentional about chapel worship this year. This past Sunday we went "home" to our congregation in northern NJ. We didn't stay long (oldest had to return home to work) but it is always nice to see everyone again and to feel cared for.

Time to sign off -- hanging with 120 3rd-graders all day (8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.) has worn me out! Even though I was only directly responsible for 6 -- still!

Indian Summer

OK, I remember hearing it's not Indian Summer until it gets hot AFTER you've had a frost. We haven't yet, but it's back to H-H-H (hazy, hot and humid). Don't know why I made the kids pancakes for dinner tonight (at 9 p.m., but better late than never), cuz now I'm positively dripping. Oh, well.

My new favorite show, "Weeds," comes on in a few minutes. I'm trying not to get sucked into new shows -- school starts for me this week and the last thing I need to be doing is camping in front of the TV. Still, I'm excited to see how "Lacey" fares this week..., eh?

Threw away some slip covers this week -- my mother had made them years ago for me -- but she had made them after she'd been drinking, and the measurements were never quite right and they never really fit. It was very freeing to throw them away....and get rid of that reminder. And now that mom isn't drinking any more (thanks to her brain cancer), that's not a concern any more. "Be careful what you wish for," the popular saying goes. Or, perhaps God's answer to our prayers isn't what we envisioned it would be?

Looking forward to re-connecting with my advisor on Weds. Meanwhile, the registrar assigned me to a different ("new," to him) advisor -- was not aware I already had one -- despite my application information stating same. Bureaucracy -- incompetence -- synonyms?

And finally, I got a hug from a woman in the Presbytery office today who heard about the "bump" (she actually said) in my life! I have never hugged this woman before in my life, but apparently, now that I'm facing separation/divorce, I'm huggable. Not sure why I'm so bitchy tonight, I don't think I really feel that way. Just thinking of things to comment on.... Saying "all is right with the world" makes for a pretty short blog....

new eyes/self-acceptance

We seem to get what we need, or maybe our specialized sensitivities clue us in to pay attention to something we might have normally overlooked. Case in point: at an engagement party this weekend for a 35-ish friend (marrying for the first time), I met many people in their 30's and 40's who were married for the second time, now for 6 and 8 years. It must not be the crowd I am usually with -- all these old-at-marriage-but-new-with-THIS-particular-spouse couples. People talked about MY kids or HIS kids, not OUR kids. A different dynamic than I am used to -- felt very freeing for me as a separated, formerly (22 years) married person.... And several of the re-married guests at this party were clergy, so I am coming to terms with the acceptability of clergy "getting it wrong" when it comes to marriage, too.... Maybe it IS OK if I am a divorced pastor. I'm working on accepting that. (Therapy tomorrow -- can discuss that some more!)

Did a "roommate intervention" with a seminary friend today -- I was the witness when one roommate packed up, so that the right things were taken and the other right things were left behind. Two women with a different sense of ownership/entitlement. It turned out to be pretty peaceful and placid -- the leaving roommate had 3 men helping her; I was glad to be there for the staying roommate -- for moral support if not legal advice!

Angry with my parents for not coming to see all the work I've done around my house. Realized this week that I need to let go of seeking their approval (only took me until my mid-40's to figure that one out!). Also annoyed that my mother calls me on her less-than-understood, less-than-fully-functional cell phone (i.e., she doesn't know how to use it), because to use the phone at their time share costs too much money. I mean, I always knew my folks were tight with cash, but am I not worth $4 for a check-in phone call? Apparently not. Now have tentative plans for Thanksgiving with seminary friends (also the weekend of the wedding of the engaged folks, above) and Christmas with my cousin who lives in the Virgin Islands. Less holiday time for me to have to please the parents (or think about pleasing them).

Ate dinner with a different friend tonight who talked about a negative self-image vibe her cousin projects. Sometimes I feel I am too negative (and not just with self-image, either), so I was glad this friend could talk frankly about this problem her cousin has, because (I interpret it to mean that) I must not have that problem (when I thought I did). Phew!

Spoke with my thesis advisor via email a few days this week. All seems to be in place and I am reassured. One crisis at a time, one soothing moment at a time....