Moments

Just completed a midterm paper about time -- how it's a standard measurement and yet everyone's perceptions are different -- even one individual's perceptions of time shift -- from fast/slow during happy/sad times.... Yesterday, Weds. Nov. 15th, I had two moments -- one where I cried in therapy (a breakthrough for me!) about missing my husband and being sad about that, despite the fact that I think a divorce for us is a good thing and inevitable at this point -- and two where I twisted my right ankle on an uneven roadway while walking the dog we are sitting (ankle is sprained and swollen now -- also hurt my left knee in the fall). Two very different moments in time....with different/on-going repercussions....

Other thought that comes to me today (Thu. Nov. 16) is that it is the 30th anniversary of the Great American Smoke-Out, and I remember my high school friend, Susan Ann (Sunshine) Reynolds, who was always very charged up about running this campaign each year -- probably she was involved with the first one 30 years ago (I'm old enough!). The Sunshine went out of my life in 1980 -- kidney failure -- dead at 20, and we always used to joke (cuz we knew it in the way high school kids can know and name things) that she wouldn't live to 25. She died around this time of year too. I miss her.... I'm glad to think of her again on this day, the anniversary of a cause that was so important to her.... She was a good kid, and a good friend.

Saw James Cone lecture tonight on how the cross is similar to the lynching tree. Powerful imagery -- generated a lot of good discussion. Also saw my international friend and had the chance to say a quick hello....

chapel today

I went to chapel today to see if a friend, rumored to be visiting from overseas, had made it to campus yet. No sign of him. And I was not the only one looking for him. While there, however, a nodding acquaintance (I don't assume she even knows my name) sat right down beside me like we were best buddies. Even though I found her behavior surprising and strange -- why she should choose today to sit next to me in the almost-empty chapel (I was early) -- I enjoyed talking with her. I enjoyed worshipping next to her. I enjoyed the booming speaking and singing voice of one of the homiletics faculty behind me. I enjoyed the sermon by a very pastoral Lutheran professor of church history (who quoted from a Sam Cooke song -- imagine!). I enjoyed seeing the music director serving in chapel worship, so soon after the death of a family member. God never disappoints. Whenever I go to chapel, or worship of any kind, I am fed and nurtured and my faith is strengthened. God is good, all the time, and God is a gift to me. Amen.

Life List

This is my 100th posting! (I guess if I were a sitcom, I'd be hosting a party!) I have kept a scrap of paper on my desk since May -- I am going to document that scrap of paper today on my blog and then discard that scrap of paper! (Yeah! A portion of an ounce leaves the house!)

Ann Nicole Nelson, who died on 9-11-2001, left behind a "Life List," which her parents were grateful to find and which they have generously shared with the world. When I first heard about it, I assumed it was a "To Do" list -- which I have: see the monarch migration in Mexico, see the Northern Lights/Aurora Borealis, see the swallows in Capistrano, etc. -- but it really is more about the "To Be" list -- the person you want to be, not just things you want to do.

I am working on 3 papers that tie into narcissism and commonality of experience (or lack thereof). Narcissists want specific things for themselves (and I'm guessing these are not stellar character traits). How 'bout wanting to be the best you can be for others? How 'bout wanting the best for others, period? Warren McWilliams' book Christ & Narcissus is a good resource for me today.... Donald Capps' The Depleted Self has also been helpful....

I'm feeling less selfish and narcissistic as I pursue my reading list. Hopefully, as I let go of past anger and look toward the future, I can be a better self for others. That is Item #1 on my new Life List.