CPE day one

Interesting day -- met the 4 others I will be spending the summer with -- 3 in their 20's: one Korean American man (he came to this country when he was 12) who wants to be an Episcopal priest, one NYC native who was raised Presbyterian (Madison Ave. Presb. church) who is now Episcopalian, one son of a Methodist minister who grew up in Wisconsin, and a 35-yr-old divorced man who is a chaplain at a private school but is pursuing ordination in the UCC. All are Yale Divinity School students but me -- I have learned today to use the acronym "YDS" and refer to biblical Greek as koine (of course I knew the term, but we at PTS are not erudite enough to refer to Greek as anything other than Greek -- not sure if we are simpletons, or more cut-to-the-chase scholars!). Toured some of the hospital and met most of the DORM staff (don't you love the acronym? Department of Religious Ministries) -- but some activities were curtailed cuz "we" are moving from the "Grace" building (how apropos) to the Hunter building (hmmm) and the Grace building will be torn down (boo!) to make room for a 14-story cancer center (yeah!). Union fights exist even there, so that's what has delayed our move to this week or even later. Means we will have to learn our way around first, and then relocate and get our bearings again. It will be OK.

Finding the place was easy and the shuttle bus was good. I came from the furthest away, and I arrived 2nd this morning. The guy who came from almost as far away as me arrived 1st. I like the people I will be working with. Nervous over which floor assignments I will request -- they all have pro's and con's -- Dad wants me to work on the floor Mom was on, which I was considering doing for other reasons. I don't want to work with kids -- will have to confront that demon sometime.... Am torn between praying for a "slow" summer and getting some actual experience that will be useful to me in my new career -- don't want to "use" the patients, or their families -- or the staff (a population I hadn't considered I would be helping) -- but do want to be helpful and of some comfort....

Touring the ED (emergency room, but here they call it the emergency department) was kind of frightening. I felt like I was in the way, and I wanted to be respectful of patients in pain and worried families. Otherwise it tends to feel like a peep show. I told my folks that when I am assigned to a "case"/patient, I will feel more like I have a right to be there, so hopefully won't feel like I should hide or get out of the way. Thank goodness I don't get squeamish, like some of the youngsters said they do. They also have not seen a dead body....

Reading another great Carl Hiaasen novel -- good change of gears! Time to go for now.....

last hurrah

It's my last week at home before I begin CPE. I have much to do -- house-cleaning, packing, organizing... Feel my family can barely cope without me -- not sure if I need to feel needed, or if I will feel truly happy (and not replaceable) if they do well without me.

This is a Tuesday morning but it feels like Monday. We went to a family baptism over the weekend -- it started on Sunday afternoon at 4 p.m., so we stayed overnight and the kids skipped school and hubby skipped work on Monday. It was a nice little getaway. The baptism was in a Greek orthodox church, so it was really fun to see the ritual, hear the Greek, and actually be able to read what was on the walls of the church!

This morning I am sending a check in memoriam of a fallen soldier -- a kid I knew who died in Iraq last June. As Memorial Day approaches, and the first anniversary of his death, I sent a check to the church where I first knew him as a Sunday school student when he was about 8 years old. It remains a tragedy, his loss, and I can't imagine how his family must be grieving. The family originally asked that contributions in his memory be made to the military academy he attended, but I couldn't bring myself to do that, and hubby didn't want me to do that either.... So I'm hoping his home church, where I first knew him and his family, can/will do something to honor him.

It's rainy and gray which fits my mood -- I don't feel like cleaning/working, not that I ever do -- but I'd better get to it. Hope I will be able to check my email and blog often enough when I'm staying with my parents.... Maybe after they go to bed at night....

Last Sunday

Yesterday was my last Sunday at my field ed church. It was an interesting experience on so many levels -- a reminder of what I'll be missing when I'm gone, and just enough craziness and chaos that being gone for the summer will be a relief. I was the only one praying at 10 a.m. pre-service prayer. Yesterday was communion Sunday (Pentecost). No elements were prepared, so at 10:50, I was defrosting frozen bagels and cutting them up to serve (we were planning communion by intinction). Then I came up with the bagels as worship was starting at 11, and the elements had miraculously appeared in those 10 mins. (I guess the deacon who was supposed to provide them was running late...?). There was a guest preacher -- Baptist minister in his 70's -- really moved by the Holy Spirit -- entertaining and educational and powerful -- and a song done in sign language by the kids....and then they presented me with a city-scape stole (to honor me, women in ministry, and urban ministry). Very nice. I will miss many things about that church. Will visit them maybe once a month next school year (that is my plan).

Interesting, when I arrived (early), one of the pillars of the church and one of the most accepting/tolerant people I know, told me to leave the church doors closed (locked) because unattended kids would be coming in (as they always do) and no one had time to watch them while we were setting up.... I don't ever feel called to watch them -- not sure if problems have arisen, or why this person (who I love dearly, and who I have never heard utter anything even remotely resembling an unkind word) would act/feel that way on this particular Sunday.... An interesting conundrum.

I like consistency. I like to think I understand everything and everybody. And when I put people in their little "boxes" -- I hate it when their behavior changes and I have to think about them differently again! That's my issue, I know....

On another note, the "token Jew" in our congregation (can I say that? just kidding -- he is married to one of our most dedicated members) came up to me after worship and wished me well. He told me he knew I would make a fine pastor, and how he loves my presence in the pulpit. That was really nice to hear. He has a wonderful heart and he is dedicated to his wife to come to her Christian worship services, ever.

Of course there is more to say but I have forgotten what it is/was. It's Monday, one of my last free weeks before CPE begins, so I have organizational stuff to do around the house, and I need to prep for a meeting I'm chairing tomorrow night. Get an agenda printed and such.... Off to face the day and hopefully feel like I've accomplished a lot at the end of it!

free time

Today is the first day of my three weeks of "free" time. Last day of therapy with my counselor at school -- she said "call me in the fall" if I wanted to. Good "final" session. Exams ended last Friday -- I was done Thursday (brutal ecumenical theologies exam -- rumor is already the grades will be curved). Margarita party Friday night (el seis de mayo -- can't drink while studying for exams!), Saturday a day of driving kids to activities -- hubby went hiking on a section of the Appalachian Trail -- also got to see his mom the day before Mother's Day.

Mother's Day, ah, yes. Holiday of high expectations and little results. No biggie, as long as I keep myself busy. Was gone from the house for 11 hours -- worship about 2 hours away -- Kenyan preacher -- coffee/tea at a friend's house with 3 Kenyans -- then Sunday dinner at a different friend's house with 5 Kenyans and about 25 other Presbyterians/fellow Kenya travelers. Nice to catch up with everyone. I was interested to note that there was no prayer at the gathering (unless we arrived after they had it, but I suspect there was none -- difference is, I probably wouldn't have noticed that -- or cared -- a few short years ago!).

Now have lots of plans to do wonderfully organizing activities, maybe even paint some rooms in my house....we'll see how much I get accomplished. Have a cousin's baby's baptism to attend, a nephew's college graduation to attend, a co-worker of hubby's wedding to attend, oldest's birthday party re-scheduled (cuz of rain) and final rowing regatta scheduled, 3 more meetings with the Kenyans to attend (one I am to chair!).... I am tired just trying to keep everything straight, even on my calendar. Have "penciled in" two different friends for coffee -- hope to be able to see them before I take off for my summer "job." Need to read the pamphlet about the dress code at the hospital -- get myself organized and packed and pretend to be professional [that's the bonus of starting new things: you can re-invent yourself, or just start trying to be a better you, sort of like new year's resolutions....]. Also have great hopes of using my "free" time wisely while on my summer assignment -- studying for ordination exams, doing daily devotions, scrapbooking, among other things.... Phew! Once again I am tired just planning and thinking of all I have to do.... Off to energize myself, some kind of way!